Now and then a particular song among my thousands really jumps out and speaks to me, and today it is this deceptively simple one, which I never realised was so beautiful until I heard Michael Buble sing it with the lights dimmed, video off, and eyes closed in Manchester last year.

*

Maybe I didn’t treat you
Quite as good as I should have
Maybe I didn’t love you
Quite as often as I could have
Little things I should have said and done
I just never took the time

Little things I should have said and done
I just never took the time
You were always on my mind
You are always on my mind
You are always on my mind

For a long, long time (since Christie implemented it at Avendesora way back when) I’ve been wanting an easy, idiot-proof way of including an avatar in my posts. Having searched high and low for a Wordpress solution a few years back and failed to find anything (other than tedious workarounds that would require me to memorise the filename of each image and type it into the custom field of every post), I kind of gave it up, but it occurred to me today that perhaps advances have been made since 2.2 and I really ought to see what 2.6.1 plugins have to offer. And I wasn’t disappointed! I found a fantastically straightforward plugin that works via dropdown menu – as all such plugins should work – and is so dead simple to configure that I didn’t even have to tweak my layout code beyond sticking a few lines of CSS into the stylesheet. And now I have an avatar on all my posts. I was so unnecessarily excited by this that I wasted a good hour or so uploading a tonne of icons, then going back and selecting one for each of my previous posts. Ah I’m easily pleased.

Here is a song to detract from the eyecandy-geekness of this entry:

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It’s “God Knows…” by Hirano Aya, and it’s that song from Suzumiya Haruhi that my sister and I were supposed to sing at Animania last week. Neither of us had heard it before and the chorus gave us a helluva hard time (try it, it’s FAST!), but the song itself is really catchy! If you’re inclined to snag it, right-click on the player and you should see a “Download this song” option.

I’ve been deliberately avoiding most of the iPhone/iPod Touch hype, telling myself confidently that I have no need for such devices, staying connected all the time is for people married to their email, and when my old, trusty 4-year-old 3G iPod dies on me (which I don’t think will ever happen, considering how strong it’s going still), I’ll be happy enough to upgrade to an iPod Classic rather than a Touch, because why do I need an MP3 player than does anything other than play music? And perhaps store some videos for me to watch while commuting.

Sadly my resistance has been assailed by the glut of iPhone articles I have been reading on my daily trawl of tech blogs, and by my sister’s recent acquisition of an iPhone, which my parents got for her because my dad was involved in Optus’s iPhone launch in Australia and could get it dirt-cheap. It’s so… shiny. The interface is lovely. There are some really fantastic apps available for it. There is, I have finally succumbed to realise, a wealth of benefits in having internet on the go. You can check out Google Maps if you get lost in the city. You can input appointments directly into Google Calendar instead of storing them on your phone calendar and processing them when you get home. You can watch Youtube. You can listen to internet radio (!!!)… and the list goes on.

I’ve always been thinking of making the switch to Mac when I move on from my Vaio, but I must honestly confess that my Macbook lust has never reached the level of iPhone lust I’m currently entertaining. Frustratingly, it is really incredibly expensive in the UK so I really doubt I’ll be getting it if I’m staying there to work. And I just changed my phone last year so there isn’t really an excuse to get a new one (I feel like this is my penance for impatiently dumping my cranky Motorola last summer – I should just have stuck it out till now huh).

Ah, shiny gadgets… why are they all so outrageously priced?

World Cosplay Summit Australia preliminaries: finalists
L-R: Misa-Misa and Rem from Death Note, Touya and Yukito from Tsubasa, Al (grownup human form) from FMA, Ryuk from Death Note, and the One Piece ship!

*

My siblings and I dragged ourselves out of the house at 9 am today to attend Animania ‘08, Australia’s biggest and bestest anime and manga convention, and upon arriving we were presented with a little guidebook that had something called the Animania Passport Tour at the back. It involved checking in with six different info desks, doing tasks at each of them to collect stamps, and then collecting a special limited edition freebie! (with exclamation mark!) after all six stamps had been acquired.

So feeling unusually gung-ho (and egged on by having spied a table labelled “PRIZES” with rows of very lovely and expensive dolls on them), we embarked on a quest for stamps that grew, over the next couple of hours, progressively more horrifying; we started from deceptively tame tasks like drawing pictures and striking anime poses to walking round and round the ginormous hall twice over to count the number of sunglasses hanging about, to singing Naruto and Doraemon theme songs in front of a crowd, and finally to the pinnacle of humiliating super-special last tasks, wearing chocobo suits on the dance floor (I kid you not; no, there are no pictures, thank goodness).

The karaoke bit was particularly annoying – there was a list of 10 songs and they’d randomly assign you one, and among them, coincidence of coincidences, was “Ikenai Taiyou”! Which my sister and I were really hoping to get (my brother had been assigned Naruto’s GO!! earlier), but we got a song from Suzumiya Haruhi which we both didn’t know… and in the end, thanks to time constraints, we were chucked in together with a group doing, of all songs, Doraemon. After we’d practised the Suzumiya Haruhi song to perfection too. Pffft.

So after all that effort, we received… a limited edition yellow Animania 2008 wristband, of which there are only 100! In the world!

et voila – I apologise for crappy webcam quality

(Apparently the dolls were for the other competitions. Go figure.)

“And now,” said the guy who gave us our wristbands, obviously dying of laughter at our dumbfounded horrorstruck faces, “you have to ask yourself: was it worth it? Say yes! Say yes!”

It was a massive facepalm moment. Yet thinking back, I have to say, this harebrained Passport game was what turned your everyday run-of-the-mill convention – where I’d normally just stroll round, watch the Karaoke (but not sing), watch the dancing (but not dance) and watch the art desk (but not draw) – into something really special for my brother, my sister and me… and we’re probably never going to let each other forget it. (“Remember when we all wore chocobo suits? Most embarrassing moment of our lives!”)

I’m still wearing this lousy yellow wristband as I type. It’s not even very nice, but it has been one hell of a memorable day.

New layout!

Every now and then, I go through a phase where I just want something dead simple. It usually comes after a layout which was very graphic-heavy and complicated, and goodness knows the previous one was. I was hoping not to use a single graphic in this layout actually but eventually succumbed to placing a teeny pattern background in the header to save the whole thing from becoming overly dull.

But the big thing about this layout, really, is that it is fully liquid (i.e. columns dynamically resize with your browser size and it should be cross-broswer compatible, give it a go); which is not such a great deal if you are a better coder than I am with CSS, but is a great deal to me because the 3-column liquid layout has been an elusive goal that I have aspired to for a long time now, and I never had the patience (till now, while dissertation-procrastinating) to carefully, slowly pick apart some sample CSS and try to figure out how it’s done.

I also have catchy new music to go with the new layout, available for download on the etc. page and for live preview here!

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This is “Ikenai Taiyou” by ORANGE RANGE (theme song from the jdrama Hana Kimi), my song of the moment and one of the most incredibly catchy things I have ever heard. It is also my current jogging song. I have it pretty much on perpetual loop on my iPod when I run.

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And this is “Exodus” by Maksim Mrvica (probably better known as just Maksim, of The Piano Player album fame). If you’ve been obsessively watching the women’s gymnastics Olympic events, as I have, you might recognise this as Anna Pavlova’s floor music. It’s by far the most amazing of all the floor routine background music and sent me on a mad hunt for the track when I first heard it. (Anna’s floor routine is also amazing, by the way.)

So this is the first released picture from the new film version of The Picture of Dorian Gray (called, pithily, Dorian Gray; why the filmmakers think it necessary to excise “The Picture of” I have no idea), due in fall 2009 and starring Ben Barnes as Dorian, Colin Firth as Lord Henry, and Rachel Hurd-Wood (Wendy in the 2003 Peter Pan) as Sybil Vane.

I don’t really know what to think of it. On the one hand, I do think Barnes is absolutely mouth-droppingly droolworthily gorgeous (easily out-prettying everyone else in Prince Caspian), and I don’t really have a problem with his acting. On the other hand… I simply can’t see him as Dorian. Dorian is blond-haired, blue-eyed, ivory-skinned, charming and beautiful; I will always, always remember him as having “rose-red youth and rose-white boyhood”, which is so suggestive of a delicacy and sensuality that I’m just not feeling from this picture or from Barnes in general.

It just baffles me how the perfect Dorian still hasn’t surfaced after multiple TV and film adaptations. I mean, Stuart Townsend? Really? And is it all that hard to find a blond actor to play him? I readily confess to being a bit of an overzealous stickler for book details when it comes to adaptations, where said details may not be not all that relevant (e.g. Dan Radcliffe having blue eyes rather than green), but I really think Dorian’s colouring is very important to the way his character comes across. I just can’t see brunettes doing the corrupted beautiful innocent thing so well.

Having expended 2 paragraphs ranting about Dorian, I should end by saying, in fairness to the filmmakers, that I think Colin Firth will do well as Lord Henry. Though I see him more as Basil, somehow – and this guy who’s playing Basil, Ben Chaplin? He could be Lord Henry, in my book. Go figure.

On Tuesday, one of my sister’s friends rang for her while she was out. I asked if I could take a message, and after giving me a name, she hesitated briefly and asked if I was Cuilan’s older sister.

“Yup, that’s me.”
“Oh! You probably don’t remember me, but – ”
“I do actually, we met last year at my sister’s graduation dinner, right?”
“Yeah! She told me you were coming back! So what are you doing now? Are you on holiday?”

Surprised – pleasantly so, though slightly disoriented – to find myself in an actual phone conversation with a non-family-member in Sydney, I told my sister’s chatty friend that it was actually still termtime, sorta, for me, and that I was here working on my dissertation. She enthusiastically asked me what it was about (despite the fact that she’s a science student), and listened as I rather self-deprecatingly told her, flaky as it may sound, it was on the Alice books. To my further surprise more questions ensued on what exactly I was doing and what my findings were so far, and so I told her a little about my crazy fantasy/insanity parallel idea, and the tea-party in the books, and madness in the 19th century.

“Hey, it sounds really interesting,” she said. “You shouldn’t laugh at your own thesis, if you don’t believe in it, no one else will!”

It was like a shot right to the heart. In that instant, memories of all these people who had been like, the Alice books? Really? (especially my mom’s well-meaning but rather deflating how do you write 20,000 words on Alice in Wonderland?) flashed rapidly through my mind, and I realised this girl, whom I’d only spoken to once before in my entire life and who didn’t even know me, had put her finger bang on the thing that has been bugging me the most – do I really buy my own hypothesis? It’s been an uphill climb partly because of the paucity of criticism relating to Carroll, and partly because, as I only came to realise that evening, I have been far too timid to believe that I can assert something no critic has ever said before.

Matt spoke to me about this way back in one of our earlier meetings. “I think there’s a link there,” he said, of my harebrained, spur-of-the-moment notion, “and I think it’s good that it hasn’t really been explored.” Slavish reliance on critical opinion belonged, he added, to a lower level of academia, and at this point I really should be way past that.

So I thanked my sister’s friend warmly. We continued to chat a little longer, about random things like the USyd library, and she asked if I could get my sister to ring her back once she’d returned. CALL EMILY, I wrote in caps on my notebook above my list of Alice quotations, and underlined it twice.

I don’t think you’ll ever read this, Emily, but thank you.

I’ve reread Alice 1 too many times!

There really isn’t anything for deflating pride quite like receiving your dissertation draft back from your supervisor, with “rubbish” scrawled in the margin next to one of your paragraphs. It wasn’t all bad; there were some ticks, some “good”s, but still. Even when you know that bit was kind of rubbish, that’s just harsh. And heartbreaking. And shattering. Ah, the time-honoured slap in the face tactic…

Courage, a trawl through JSTOR, a thorough reread of Alice and a visit to the USyd library – all long, long overdue. I really have to get it together.