We sold out two shows on my birthday, one of which we’d been a bit worried about – how’s that for birthday magic – and my colleagues surprised me with a chocolate cake which I had not been expecting (birthday people at my company always get cake, but they don’t necessarily always get it on their birthday, and I didn’t think I’d have mine till next week because hardly anyone was in the office on thursday!).

And then yesterday was the big brochure copyedit session where we all gathered round the meeting table and went through next season’s brochure proofs with a fine toothed comb, and I discovered to my delight that I’m not the only grammar nazi in the office, and had colleague Tom to back me up on nitpicky issues like “Mothers’ Day” vs “Mother’s” (second is obviously wrong but no one believed us), and eradicating/inserting commas and apostrophes as appropriate.

We all then troop to the pub after work and Tom and I proceed to discover, on top of both being grammar, spelling and punctuation freaks, that we both love Mulholland Drive (literally exclaiming “I love that movie!” at exactly the same time when someone else mentioned it), that I am currently reading and loving one of his favourite books (The End of Mr Y by Scarlett Thomas), that we both first picked said book up at the bookstore because it has a pretty cover, and that we both habitually judge books by whether their covers are pretty.

At which point Tom is like, hang on a sec, are you my long lost twin, only five years younger?! and we realise that we’re probably just the same person in two different bodies. It was all a bit creepy, and very funny. Did I mention he is also a bit of a techie geek and is the only other person in the office who knew what i was talking about when I mentioned how hysterical the “Total Eclipse of the Heart” literal video version is?

It was a good night out. I’ve never been to the pub with them before because I’ve always been busy on previous pub nights, and it was surprising, and refreshing, to be at a pub night where we were discussing Mulholland Drive rather than getting laid, which has been generally more of the norm at English pub nights so far. There was an impromptu birthday song and talk of Christmas and holidays, and surrounded by an incongruous conglomeration of wreaths, pine cones and pumpkins, chatting excitedly with the rest about my upcoming trip back, that festive, restless mood that has been welling up in me for ages now got even stronger.

This afternoon, following Japanese class and lunch at Carluccio’s with the usual suspects, was a hugely enjoyable board game houseparty involving a number of obscure but madly addictive games (mostly German, as they tend to be); tomorrow if the weather holds up will be a trip out to Brick Lane with Debbie in one of my rare East End forays. The next week promises to be a mad busy one as we start finalising the brochure and working on the big push for Christmas, but every weekend that passes brings my trip home ever closer, and I have had a lovely week past to see me through.

i thank You God for most this amazing
day:for the leaping greenly spirits of trees
and a blue true dream of sky;and for everything
which is natural which is infinite which is yes

exactly one year and two days ago, i moved to london with not a clue what my future would look like this time next year. how time goes by.

seven years ago, i was dinnering at suntec with the squad; i think we were at kenny rogers and i remember being surprised with a makeshift cake in the form of a corn muffin and a single large white candle (which i hung on to, i still have it somewhere) in place of the seventeen which would’ve been impractical.

five years ago i came to this country all prepared to spend my birthday alone – a far cry from the swensen’s firehouse sundaes and multiple dinners out of previous years – and the motley crew, whom i’d known barely a month, got me a chocolate cake from marks and sparks and made chicken curry in my Ingram B kitchen and gathered to watch the princess bride in my room after dinner.

the year after that was, of course, the year of the soopersekrit photo scrapbook project which thanks to a text gone astray i knew about all along; i can still so vividly recall standing in a doorway with ailin and jason and en qi like a beckett tableau as we all rather surrealistically instructed jason to go buy me a scrapbook from paperchase in a certain shade of purple. and then next year was the epic video – how could i forget?

my dad’s birthday and mine are nineteen days apart in october, so whenever i am back home on holiday, just before returning to england for the autumn, we always go out for a big family dinner to jointly celebrate. the japanese restaurants near home in sydney are amazing, we have had the birthday dinner in two different japanese restaurants for the past two years.

this year, now that i’m on my own and not doing anything special on my birthday for the first time i can remember, i don’t feel as horribly lonely as i thought i might; the memories from years past keep me warm in the lengthening nights, as does the knowledge from here and now that i am loved, that beautiful and worthwhile people out there think i am beautiful and worthwhile, that my friends and family are amazing, that i am going home soon, and that i could not be luckier.

(now the ears of my ears awake and
now the eyes of my eyes are opened)